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Honeymoon's OVER

My daughter is FANASTIC although the SLEEP Honeymoon is OVER!!!
Calling all you BTDTs...seeking advice on screaming inconsolabily all night. I've done everything. She is bathed with a warm bath using the Lavender wash, fed well, dry diaper, dressed warm but still refuses to sleep. I am sleeping in the bed next to her crib. She is constantly looking for me. I try not to engage her when she is wakes and screams. I just put her back down and rub her back so that she knows I am there.I knew this going into it but feel a little helpless. I do realize that she is probably also dealing with jetlag and grieving. I know that this will last a while. I am ready and prepared for this. My question to all of you is ... am I doing everything that I need to be doing. I would love to hear all and any tips you all had when you first arrived home with your little ones!!! Thanks. Stephe

37 comments:

Pamster said...

My best advice is to have a friend stay over one night so you can get some sleep! Jet lag is so hard to overcome. In our experience it was hardest for me to get turned around.

Spend as much time in the sun during the day and dim everything at night.

Are there too many distractions in her crib or room. Over-stimulation can be an issue as well.

Hang in there girls. It really does get better with time.

Anonymous said...

I haven't adopted (would LOVE to though) but both my babies went though intense "neediness" at night while getting their 1 year and their 2 year molars - not just the cutting of the teeth but the whole period leading up to and around then. Just mentioning this *in case* she happens to be teething as well (the emotional side of which is often underestinmated in my opinion).

Though of course there's every chance her insecurity is down to her change of setting, and her grieving - I absolutely don't mean to overlook that! (Wish I could offer advice there though.)

It sounds to me like you're doing everything right as a responsive Mama. Don't be scared to sing her a lullaby quietly while you lie there and rub her back....if your voice reassures her she'll relax and drift to sleep. If you're worried that she'll become dependant on hearing you sing to go to sleep don't be....you can always record yourself singing (I did that!) and wean her onto that.
The other thing I used sometimes was Rescue Remedy - I'm not sure if you're familiar with that?? It's a naturopathic Bach Flower remedy "to help comfort and reassure".
Best to you (both!) - the sleep deprivation is hard, but it will be temporary...you're going to do just fine :)))

K said...

My agency said that it takes 15 minutes a day for each hour of time difference change until the baby's clock resets. From all the blogs I've read and research I've done, I feel very fortunate that my agency has fantastic classes, each with a leader and a BTDT family toting a child. The last family had two under two, the first from Vietnam, the second, just three months back from China. Here's what I've learned...

Don't be afraid to engage with her at night right now. Sleep experts tell you not to do this, but that's with biological babies. Georgi is old enough to have the reality of her loss now sinking in. She's realized her old life is gone now that all remnants are behind in China. She needs the interaction with you to solidify her security, especially in the middle of the night when she is feeling the most vulnerable. The fact that she is constantly looking for you is great, she's looking toward you for reassurance, you are her only lifeline, don't deny her by witholding eye contact and voice reassurance at night when she needs it the most. If you can, turn her crib along the side of the bed and take one rail off so Georgi can actually come to you when she feels the need.

Be sure she's getting naps during the day and is not overly stimulated. Get outside each day, even if it's a three minute walk back and forth across the front yard, even if it's freezing. Even if you put your coats on over your pjs. The daylight helps regulate the body physically and mentally.

Do get a friend in if you need to sleep.

Like you said, you are ready for this, but it's certainly heart-breaking, isn't it?

Valerie said...

Welcome home, it was great to follow your long awaited trip.

We got home from China in May and have two adopted children 30 days apart in age (the first adoption was a surprise domestic).

I have experienced mothering a newborn and starting with a 9 month old. The jet lag is a killer, but I disagree with starting the bad sleeping hapits at any age no matter the circumstances. I would not sleep with her, I would go in the fist week offer food, a littel play time and back to sleep. We did this for two nights when back home and she has slept throught the night ever since. Our China daughters were on strict schedules in the ohpanage and were not overly coddles.

The gift of being able to calm oneself back to sleep is an important one for you and Giorgia.

When my babies cry in the middle of the night, they get water, diaper change, checked for illness and then a kiss and back to bed.

It is tough to get through, but so is a toddler who won't follow a bedtime routine.

It is very easy to overcompensate and out of "pity" or "guilt" try to make up for their difficult beginnings by bending common sense rules. But these are amazing and strong girls, and the sooner they master fitting into their new famiies the sooner they can move away from any negative issues they may have from their time in the orphanage.

Best of luck.

Valerie

Judi said...

Have you ruled out ear infections of any other ailments? She's in a brand new place. You are the only familiar site to her. It will get better; hang in there!

Wendy said...

I'm having flashbacks to bringing my daughter home. It WILL get better, but it will take some time. One thing I can remember that worked for me was putting my daughter in her stroller. That might be something to try, otherwise, we spent lots of nights in the living room with her and I sleeping in a recliner.

dawn said...

Both our our girls were different but both couldn't get their new timeclock straight. With Lily we spent lots of time going for 2am walks but with Rosie she would still only sleep for 2 hours in a 24 hr period.
Make sure you go outside in the daytime if it isn't to cold.. She needs to see lots of daylight. It will take a few days. Try to get her on a nap schedule in the day but don't do them to late in the afternoon. With Rosie after 17 days I finally rang our agency and spoke to an SW and she said try putting her in her crib and let her cry it out, cos Rosie just wouldn't go to sleep and we had her in with us. We tried it and it worked she cried for less than a minute and slept for 14 hours.
I don't think that is G''s case though.
Try to set a schedule and make sure you sleep when she does and accept ALL help. It is hard to bond when you are both exhausted.
Email me if you want? Not sure I can help but please know this is NORMAL stuff.

Good luck.
Dawn, for all

park it said...

2 cents..
I am with Valerie - I did that with my 14 mth old - (did not sleep in the room) but went to her -told her I was there and it was night night time) - this was after the first 4-5 days home - prior to that - just do what works - out your hand over to her - pat her - keep her in the crib - Also get her on a schedule - naps at x food at x - etc - remember she was on a strict schedule before...K thrived on that - get outside - that helped me as much as her ...I also got a sound machine with white noise - as it made it not so quite - as you can imagine an orphanage is not quite at night...each night I turned it up a bit - until it was pretty loud - again - worked like a charm - if she is teethin - there is a homopathic tablets (I got at Target) ask the pharmacist - I forgot their name - they were great - for calming as well as teething.
Remember routain - figure the times that work in your family and stick to them (even if people want you to come by at 7 pm - nope - bed time etc - I did it her first year (liek clock work) and it worked great - email me offline and we can chat more if needed..
Welcome Home
Carol & Kimberly (4)

Kelley said...

You've gotten some great advice! All of that sleeping in China was a coping mechanism for the big change...we had that too. Now you've got another aspect of grieving/loss. Just let her know you're there for her. It will get better (though it may not seem like it right now). One thing that also really worked for me was using a wind-up musical doll (from China Sprout) every time I put her down for a nap for for bedtime. It just started getting the "bedtime" message in her head. We have two of them, and now each night my girl picks which one she wants to listen to. (And our routine is like Carol's [in the previous comment] almost to a T...my girl was always in her own room. I found that she also liked to sleep in the complete dark...a nightlight made it worse for some reason.) But, all of that being said, I had a very comfortable reclining rocker, and I spent several nights sleeping in it with the baby on my chest. Best of luck to you! I'm so glad you're home safe!

Shirley said...

My daughter was about Giorgia's age when she came home. She slept great in China but it took about 6 weeks to reset her clock here. In addition, she had new teeth coming in.
Re-entry is hard. It does get better. Have a friend over so you can nap.
Get her in a routine but know that the first few weeks are hard.

Lisa said...

We had the same problem. I couldn't bare to let her cry it out... at least not at first.... one thing that worked for us was buying a light/sound machine that attaches to her crib. It's a Fisher-Price toy that attaches to the crib and projects birds, a sun and a moon on to the ceiling. It plays three or four different songs, just wind sounds with chirping and then just wind with windchimes all at three different volumes. The light projection can be turned off too. It's set up so that even Giorgia can turn it on and off. Here we are at 3 1/2 and Gracie will still, in the middle of the night, turn it on for comfort. I have seen these with "under the sea" versions as well as others. It didn't work "overnight" but did help out tremendously. Another thing we did was buy a little cd player and I played music for her each night... again something she still enjoys. Usually by the time the cd ended, she was asleep.... Princess Lullabies was and still is her favorite! I would often have to pat her back or, get this, rub her neck! She would move my hand to it... ;)

You have some fantastic words of wisdom here.... and only you will see what's working and not working for your baby. Our pediatrician told me to let her cry it out. But Gracie got so worked up that she would throw up. My doc then told me to just clean her up and let her cry it out again. She thought that this was a controlling issue and that Gracie was really just looking for attention. Well, sure she was! :) I determined it was more about grieving and the new environment... after all her world had just flipped... and we went for periods of her sleeping like an angel to not sleeping much at all. It was a time of discovery for sure. But really, only you know what will and will not work with your sweet baby girl. You will get to know her needs and her fears. It will take time. Hang in there. :)

Abby's Mom said...

We play lullabyes on repeat all night long plus ocean on the sound machine. Plus a little night light and her ladybug that puts stars on the ceiling (she calls it turtle).

I'm the opposite too. Abby slept better the first months home then she does now. Don't know if it's a toddler thing or adoption related. Course now she sleeps with me in my bed. (I know) She has since she had the croup. I tried reverting her back to the crib but after a while just gave up. (she still naps in her crib) This single Mama needs to sleep so I do what I have to do.

Hang in there, it will get better and all work out. Do what you have to do while you work through this big transition for the both of you. Jet lag really is a killer and I think ten times worse with a new baby and all by your self.

Brownie Troop 157 said...

My daughter slept in her crib fine until around 14 months...when she began climbing out of the thing. There was no going back. She now basically sleeps with me, and naps in her bed. Like was said before, ya gotta do what you gotta do..especially with a headstrong kid who would get out of her bed and wander the house at will.

Anyway, survival tips that help us:

1. You MUST sleep when she sleeps, otherwise you'll be dead.

2. check for ear infection. T had one but with none of the usual symptoms.

3. For us, a small pillow worked like a charm. Without it she scramed all night long. With it she slept.

4. if there's any way for you to get a maid to do the heavy cleaning every week or every other week, do it. Its a life saver.

5. Find stores that are open 24 hours or really early...like target or home depot. When T was waking up at 4 or 5 in the morning and raring to go, it helped to go out to one of these stores and get us out of the house...especially if it was freezing outside.

For me, the hardest thing about single parenthood was admitting that I couldn't do it all by myself. Asking for and accepting help from others were necessary, albeit hard lessons to learn.

Good luck. the first week is hell, but it will get better.

Sheri said...

QQ screamed every night for 15+ months. 30-90 minutes at a stretch, most nights multiple times a night. You've been given lots of good advice above - and try it all - until something works. For QQ (who came home at 21 months) it was getting old enough to bribe her with getting out of the crib. We made a sticker chart, and I told her when she had 10 stickers in a row for not crying, I would take the side rail off the crib. This worked (mostly). I tried co-sleeping, but it didn't work for us once we left China.

Bear in mind: your child has never slept alone in her life in what to us is a restful, quiet, darkness. She will most likely need some noise, a night-light, and the presence of other people in the same room to feel confident enough to sleep...

QQ NEVER EVER napped either in China or at home in her crib - NOT ONCE - she SCREAMED non-stop for 2-3 hours (while LL was peacefully napping). I finally gave up - it was more harmful to our relationship/attachment to have her scream than to have her be cranky from lack of sleep. Occasionally I could get her to nap on the living room couch... infuriatingly, they told me she napped beautifully every single day at daycare until 4.5 years of age when they stopped letting the kids take naps (just before Christmas 2008; she was bumped up to Transitional Kindergarten). Daycare is bright, and noisy with other kids' movements and breathing, and music playing softly in the background. These days (since her body really still needs to nap) she falls asleep in the car on the 10 minute drive home, cuz she's so tired, and bedtime is relatively easy cuz I give her melatonin on the nights she's wound up.... started using that shortly after she turned four.

Good luck!

This, too, shall pass!!

Ladybugsmom said...

Stephe,
We had the same thing and it was ears and jetlag. We made the decision early on to have our daughter sleep in her bed and in her room. This was hard but best, we also had a family member come in one night so we could get some sleep and literally each day got better but it took like 7 before she was on schedule. Make sure you get sleep stick to schedule and we found at first she wanted to sleep at day and awake at night and each day she progressed to more at night and less at day 12 hours is a lot for a little one. Hang in there.
Emily

Ladybugsmom said...

OMG how could I forget teething tablets...they work are natural and omg she had no teeth and in like 5 months 12 have come in including molars...could not live without them. We have them in the diaper bag in her room and in the kitchen cabinet...Normally only use at night but if fussy during day at nap do then as well. Good luck!
Emily

jenniferic98 said...

I am a friend of Cheri's in Ohio and have been following your blog. Congratulations on beautiful Georgia and on surviving the first few days at home!!! We came home from China last January with our daughter and did not sleep through the night until the end of September. The first week home was hell, the second hellish and the third hell-like. By the fourth week jet lag was mostly worn off, but our daughter was still grieving intensely at night. You will get much advice, but for now you just do whatever gets YOU the most amount of sleep -regardless of what the "experts" say. Follow your mother instincts and do whatever you can to reassure Giorgi that she is safe and secure with you. There will be plenty of time for sleep training in the future. It feels impossible, but love will carry you through these sleep deprived days! Feel free to email me directly. (I'm not too far from you in PA, by the way.)

Trudi said...

As Nana T to a beautiful adopted baby girl, your story sounds like what my daughter went through. Landings are hard. BUT here are a few thoughts for you:

If she is teething, RUN, don't walk and get Hyland's teething tablets. They are homeopathic and will save both of you huge grief.
You can get them at most Whole Food's stores or homeopathic pharmacies - blue and pink box. Also pick up some earache tabs by the same company to have on hand.

If you don't have a rocking chair, consider getting one and rocking her to sleep every night. My son in law is a psychologist and they subscribed to the "regression" theory of parenting adopted children. Even if they are 1 or older, you regress them to early early life and basically treat them as you would a newborn - lots of holding and rocking. After a few months of this consistently, they speed up and catch up and are calm and adjusted. I hadn't heard of this before, but having watched it I am SO IMPRESSED. Our baby girl turns 2 this week and she has caught up with her peers and is so attached to them in a healthy way. They credit the intense work they did with her during those first few months home and I have to agree.

That said, don't burn yourself out. Do the best you can and don't beat yourself up. This is a process - there will be ups and downs. You have a BEAUTIFUL daughter and both of you are so blessed.

MacMui Mom said...

We used music playing very softly which worked wonders. We also tried keeping her up, so she would sleep through the night. We also used the kids calming natural stuff. We have more if you want some.

All of the advice is great. We would love to come over and play with Giorgia while you sleep. Mia has loved looking at the pics while you were in China.

Lisa and Tate said...

Great advise... I am sure I will be facing the same issues once I am home with Tate...

I remember reading on another blog to put the clothes the child was wearing on gotcha day (providing you have not washed them)in the crib with them. The smell from the clothes will comfort at night when they are the most vulnerable.

Also, you have waited soooo long to hold Gigi, go ahead and break the rules and hold, rock and snuggle your gal. Deal later with doing the "right" thing once jet lag is over, attachment and routine is established, and language is understood.

Get out in the sunlight as much as possible...

Twice Blessed China Mom said...

Hi Stephe, Welcome home! Two MDs suggested Rescue Remedy (without alcohol) and melatonin. I gave my daughter 2 mg. melatonin with her night time bottle. It helped. I stayed in the room with her while she fell asleep. As time went on, I moved a little farther away from my daughter, until I was outside her room as she went to sleep. Some parents feel strongly that they wouldn't use melatonin; my daughter had a very difficult transition. Melatonin was temporary. She needed to rest, and my older daughter and I needed a little time each night without meltdowns, which was how our day was from sunrise to sunset, with my younger daughter's arrival. She was 3 at her adoption. You're both still dealing with the time change. My understanding is that for each hour of difference, your body will need one day to adjust. Spending time in the sunlight will help both of your bodies to return to the time zone in which you live. Good luck!

Michal said...

Awesome advice from K above.
It WILL take time but you two will get this night time thing down. When we came home with Evelyn, we had very simialr issues. For two weeks, it took her Papa and I standing at her bedside with both of our hands on her back to get her to sleep. This was after the first few days of helping her get her nights and days set with North America. (We went home to Alaska in the summer so we had nearly 18 hours of daylight a day at the time-plus she was still on China time. I eventually had to tape tinfoil on her windows and play quietly in her room about 2 hours before bed) So yeah, we BOTH had to be there at once and then I used gradual steps to get her adjusted to going to sleep on her own. It took us about 2 months overall and I am not saying that to freak you out, I am saying that so you can see that there is an end and you will get through- hey at least your not taping tin foil to the windows :) I understand that you may not have 2 months to work on this. I understand that you may have to get back to work. However as bad as these first days are, they will get better.
The hardest thing for me during my adoption was that change from the seemingly happy and non-needy child in China to what I eventually called The Need Monster. It is shocking and I wondered at first if I was already messing up. I wasn't. You aren't either. Your girl has been through alot and you know that and you will be okay. Keep in mind too that Giorgia slept through practically everything in China so some of what she may have normally experienced there has been delayed until now. That's okay, apparently she needed to sleep- I think that was part of her crisis coping.
I hate to tell people to hang in there so I won't say that. I WILL say, live each day and try to make tiny improvements and strides towards what you eventually want. It's okay to call a friend and take a few hours for yourself. Don't fall into the trap of thinking you have to only let everyone see how wonderfully happy and harmonious it is to have G home. She is a big change, she has had a big change, it adoption at it's toughest right now. That's okay, it's actually pretty normal.
Big hugs to you both.
(sorry this got so long)

the meaklims said...

Our first 4 days were nasty nasty nasty too Stephe.

Do you have every light out in the house. Yangdong babies like dark at night! We skipped over that part when we were reading the little card they gave us and it works wonders!

It is tough those first few days, I blame a lot of it on jetlag. Also, she needs to feel secure in her new environment and that will take a little time too.

Bless you, I know what you're going through!

Jill xx

Ron said...

Been there, done that with Jensen. It takes time, maybe up to 2 weeks. Giorgia will come around and sleep for you. There isn't anything else I suggest you to do. The sleep will come.

Welcome home!

sierrasmom said...

Hi Stephe, It sounds like you are doing everything right. You amazed me on the entire trip. Your instincts are great. I too have been sleeping in Sierra's room if she wakes up. It is different then what I did with my bio kids because of what she didn't have in the orphanage. I know they are still dealing with their mixed up internal clocks It will get better. She is so beautiful and I miss seeing her face every day!!! Keep in touch and say hi to Chrissy for me. I hope she made it home OK!!
Kathie

Jacquie said...

Oh Stephe, I feel for you hon. This sounds so familiar. Lily was the dream baby in China. Slept through the night like a champ and took naps. And then we came home. The time-zone flip flop combined with her grieving/adjustment was a nighmare. When we took her for her post-adoption check-up at the adoption clinic their advice was to establish a bedtime routine and stick with it. Do the SAME THING every night at the same time. If you read her a book, read the same book in the same spot at the same time. I was too exhausted for a book so I sang a quick little song every night. Same song, same time, etc. Though it took awhile, it finally worked. And we've created a monster. Still to this day she has to have that song sang to her. We also played soft lullaby music in the background all night. Hope this helps. Sleep issues are the worst. Thinking of you.

Paula said...

When Jess came home, she slept on me. Unless she was actually laid across me, she wouldn't sleep. That lasted at least a month. After that she slept with us in the bed. We tried a pack and play next to our bed and she wouldn't go for it. The IA doctor we went to told us to keep cosleeping much to DH's dismay. She had night terrors where she wouldn't wake but would scream and thrash - just about broke my heart.

dimplesanddumplings said...

(((Stephe))) Sending hugs your way. This part stinks, and so much of it is out of your hands. It all depends on sweet Giorgia -- her personality, her ability to adapt, her body's ability to adjust to all the environmental and time changes.

For me, what worked was going with my gut -- and trial and error. My oldest had a plaintive, unhappy cry. My youngest had a panicked cry. My oldest needed reassurance; my youngest needed to be held. I did whatever felt right.

One thing I do know is that neither of you can adjust while you're both sleep deprived. Hold her, rock her to sleep, sleep with her, move the mattress to the floor right beside the crib -- whatever you can make work for both of you.

Gayle

Anonymous said...

My advice is to bring her into your bed and cuddle her like there is no tomorrow. She needs to feel safe and what better place than in her momma's arms. I did this with my daughter (adopted from China when she was 13mos old) and it was wonderful for her and me. It may seem like a hassle now, but believe me, you wont't regret. We are approaching out two year family day anniversary and the time has gone sooo fast! Enjoy every minute of your baby!!!

Anonymous said...

Had another thought.....now I KNOW she was a great daytime napper in China - you have the pics to prove it right? ;)
With babies, sleep begets sleep. And if she's not getting her usual quota of daysleep she'll be over tired (which TOTALLY prohibits good, sound night sleep even though the opposite seems to make better sense!)
Light and sunshine in the daytime is exactly what she needs but she also needs to be in a routine with daytime naps.
BEST to you!
Annie (again).

Somewhere In The Sun said...

Stephe, don't be afraid to just go with your mommy instincts rather that what you think is the right thing to do. Adopted children really cannot be treated like biological children. What the "experts" say is best is usually not best for little ones just coming home.

Don't worry about a schedule or getting hr to sleep like you hope that she eventually will. Right now it's all about security. I cannot stress that enough. She's terrified of how her life has changed and nightime brings out those fears. I have adopted 4 children and have learned a LOT from my mistakes. My suggestion is to bring her into your bed. Calming her fears is the most important thing right now.

~Lynn
by the way...She's just BEAUTIFUL!!

Nina said...

I'm also a big fan of co-sleeping. I did it with my first (bio) daughter and Kavanna sleeps with us, too. I think it's wonderful for attachment, and we're all getting sleep. I know it's not for everyone but that would be my best suggestion. Good luck!!

Jen said...

We co-slept as well--it lasted about a month after we brought our son home from Vietnam. He was so insecure about being left that he would keep one hand on me and one on my husband at all times.

Now, he sleeps through the night easily. He just needed reassurance that we were not going anywhere.

Diane and John said...

Hi Stephe
I am glad to see that you made it home safely. Julia could not stand her bed when we first got home and would scream when I put her in it. After the first night of screaming I decided to not give her a nap the next day since I needed sleep and I gave her a bath that night and a warm bottle and rocked her in the glider with a toy we have that projects shadows of stars and animals on the ceiling and plays a lullaby. I then put her in her crib once the bottle was empty and then cranked up the toy once again and said good night and left the room and she slept the entire night and we had to wake her at 830 AM when I put her down at 8 PM The next day I gave her only an hr nap and did the same bedtime thing and she actually smiled when I put her in bed and has been sleeping through the night where we have to wake her the next day. I guess I do not believe in sleeping in the same room since that is more of a distraction. Just remember to have a night light for the room so it is not too dark. I hope that helps but I guess each child is different.
Stay in touch with us Jbach14@wi.rr.com

Diane John and Julia

Shelley said...

Hey Stephe,
Sounds like you are doing all the right things. Unfortunately it just takes time to get it all straight. We use a sound conditioner in the girls room and it has helped a LOT.
For us, our first daughter took about two and a half weeks to get it all worked out. We didn't push it and sometimes we got up with her at night and just went with it (for the first week or so). Then we just persevered and made sure she only napped in the morning and not for too long, and we kept her outside in the sunlight and GOING GOING GOING as much as possible. We hit every store in town just to keep her up and going during the day.
With our second, it was hellish as we also moved about a week after getting home from China. The only way we could get any sleep was to have lots of help and the only way she would even consider sleeping was to strap her into the car seat and plop it in front of the tv and sit behind it and gently rock it FOR HOURS!!! It was truly a nightmare, but she got it all together in about six months or so and we survived. I will say that she still doesn't do well in the nighttime sleep department two years later. She doesn't usually fall asleep until about 11pm or so. I think she is just a nightowl...go figure.
You will survive it!!! Just don't be afraid to ask for help.
Glad you are home safe and sound!!
Blessings~
Shelley Swindler

KHM said...

After a while of observing you will know better what she needs. JJ liked her crib OK and fell asleep OK, but was waking up all nite. Part of it was the time change, but we talked to a friend with a lot of experience ( and another who fosters many children)and I realized we were actually training her to wake up.

so now we have a very set bedtime routine, I put on the Chinese Children Choir lullabies and rock her for about 15-20 minutes till she is sleepy, put her down, and if she cries she cries. It only lasts for 2-3 minutes now, and if she wakes she cries another 2 minutes and goes back to sleep. I only go to her if she is crying because sick or wet (I actually can tell the diff at this point.)

Anyway, kids are all different, but a very consistent routine and not walking in every time she wakes have made all the difference and everyone is getting sleep now.

It took about a week to get her better on schedule. The first four days were very hard as she cried for quite a while.

Ava Baby said...

Hi Stephe,
Hope Giorgia is sleeping a little better for you now. I am a strong supporter of co-sleeping, if that's what she needs to feel secure (this view is also supported on attachment/bonding sites). I know that there are many comments above against this but you are bonding right now with Giorgia. I would NEVER let her "cry it out" when you just got home with her and are just starting to build her trust. Ava let out little cries many times a night and had a few full-blown night terrors as well for a long time but it became less frequent over time and eventually stopped. Most times she would just reach over and touch me to make sure I was still there and then go back to sleep.

Whatever you choose to do will be the right decision for you and Giorgia, and it will get easier over time. Good luck!
Michele

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