One Year Ago...

Becoming a Family...

Seems like Yesterday...

It was one year ago today I woke up knowing that this particular day would change a little girls life and my own…forever. I was completely calm. Completely at peace. I was not nervous or overwhelmed. (seriously)

I had waited for Giorgia’s arrival for a long time and for so many years I dreamed of her and loved her from afar. She didn’t dream of me though. She was living her life as she thought it was meant to be. I missed those first 11 months but I choose to believe that someone was looking after her and keeping her safe. I wonder if a little part of her knew that her whole world … our whole world… was about to change.

It was one year ago today I got to hold Giorgia for the first time. I got to comfort her for the first time. I got to physically touch her for the first time. I got to give her a kiss for the first time. I got to feed her for the first time. I even got to change her diaper for the first time. I will never forget that day. It was burned in my mind forever. Once at the Civil Affairs Office, all I could hear was my heart beating and somehow the volume of the room was muffled. When Giorgia was placed in my arms, she looked at me with that same look that I saw in her referral picture. This look was not blank nor scared but rather distantly observant. She did not cry, never once did she reject me nor did she ever try to pull away. She was cautious and she was patient with this new mama of hers. She allowed me to woo her and love her but she was cautious to let me in. It was okay with me as I was prepared for this. I would wait for as long as it took.

Fast-forward to today, my girl is Little Miss Independent (ok, let's be real...DIVA) and with one simple smile she can light up a room. I am amazed at the changes that she has gone through. What a difference! I continue to stand in awe.

LOTS OF CHANGES & LOTS OF FIRSTS

It has been exciting seeing her grow and develop and at the same time, bittersweet. I want her to be little forever. She is beautiful, talented, "spirited", FUNNY and incredibly smart.

Words she uses often: Mama, Giorgia, horsie, no, yes, Pirate, Gami, cracker, light, tissue, cheese, more, hi, bye, fish, please, shoes, coat, bow, banana, baby, ball, out, Uh Oh!, Mmmmm, sit down, get down, book, where are you?, milk, blanket, not nice, up, thank you, night-night, boo-boo, bug bite, cold, hot. But this past week...well...let's just say she's had a language EXPLOSION an her words and sentences are limitless!!!

Current Obsessions: EATING, Strawberry Milk, Shopping, Wearing Mama’s Shoes, Organizing, Cleaning, Books and repeating what I say,EVERYTHING I say. lol

Current Fears: The Vaccum. She still freaks out at the doctors office. Hates the doctor. Still is not okay with me holding any other child.

Things I LOVE:
● How she notices a plane or a bird in the sky.
● How she says, "Milk” and accentuates the “k” like if she doesn’t I won’t know what she is talking about. Same with the “T” in Blanket!!
● The way she blows kisses to everyone.
● How she swings the purse over her shoulder like she’s been a Diva forever.
● How she always asks to go "shopping"
● The way she is obscessed with her belly button!
● How she closes doors and drawers after me when I forget
● How she grabs and squeezes her own cheeks when we are naming body parts.
● How she squeals when she sees a puppy dog or kitty cat on tv.
● How she reminds about her shoes as if I would forget.
● The way she softly scratches my arms just because she knows I LOVE it!
● The way she points to her lips because she wants some lip gloss too!
● She is growing up way too fast, and she amazes me with some of the things she does.

Mommy Daughter Day #1

I have decided to not make a celebration of our G-Day (Giorgia Day but more popularly known as Gotcha Day. After watching the documentary Adopted and reading this insightful post and another thoughtful one, I’ve confirmed my decision regarding this.

Again, this is just my decision for OUR family and I do not judge others for their choices regarding this matter. However, I expect respect and an open mind for my choices.

Let’s face it…G-day is really ME-DAY! It was the HAPPIEST day of my life. I have never and could never express how amazing that day was to me. I selfishly keep it all inside. ME-DAY will be in my heart everyday and celebrated by ME every year with blog posts and remembrances of MY journey to my daughter.

However, that was MY journey. What was HERS? HER journey was much different from mine. Once I could see past MY joy I realized that this day would signify the second greatest loss of my daughters life. The first would obviously be the day that SHE was left to be found and placed in the SWI and this second, G-day, is the day that SHE left the only life that she knew. HER Ayi’s in China, HER cribmates, HER other little friends, HER SWI, HER Southern China climate, comforting smells, HER culture and HER heritage. Granted I will do my best to give HER everything that she needs and wants but children internalize and process things so differently than adults. No one knows how their child is going to process these life changing events. I couldn’t bear it if SHE was shielding her pain on this day as I was jumping for joy and celebrating. I find this heartbreaking on many different levels.

Adoption doesn’t DEFINE my daughter but it is the way we became a family. Just as one blogger says, "I don't want my girls to grow up in a home where we didn't celebrate the miracle of adoption in some way; we just won't do it on their Gotcha Days anymore” I think this sums it up for me. Thank you to Jazzie and Tahlia's Mom and Adding a Sister for your awesome posts on this.

Honorable mention to an Anynomous poster here:
Even if a person was never given up by their birth mother and adopted by a loving family...even if you grew up in your "normal" home...sometimes God places other people in your life to be your chosen family. It's beautiful. You have to understand, even as an adult, that you never picked your parents or asked to be born. Your identity is who YOU are, not who your parents are. You SO get that, and you will pass that on…and she will be strong.

Thanks for reading my post.

G Day Bracelet

Aunt Christie gave us both charm bracelets for Gday. There is a charm for each step of our process to becoming a family. I will try to take a photo of them to show you all of the individual charms when I get the chance. They are awesome. Here are some photos of Giorgia trying hers on.

Thank you Aunt Christie...They are BEAUTIFUL!!!

Giorgia Arrives

So, the day began with us getting up for breakfast and heading our for a Chinese Massage. Me, Chrissy and Karen all went and it was FANTASTIC. It was at times slightly painful but in a good way. One hour massage cost $17 US Dollars. I figured this might be the last chance to pamper myself for a while. Then we quickly roamed the streets to find a loaner stroller. It is very common for the stores to do this. The American families tend to spend more money in their shops when they do this. They are big on honor system. I did not even give them my name...just walked in off the street and asked to borrow! That would never happen in US!

Then we headed back to the hotel to prepare for the big event. Packed diaper bag, got cameras and video, passports and paperwork, donation, gifts and of course tissues! I was fine the whole time... Sometimes internalizing things pays off. Then we go up to like the thirteenth floor, I think. Donna and Joe had to wait for the next elevator...next thing I know Donna is running towards me frantically says "I saw Giorgia...she is here...I saw them when we were waiting for the elevator...OMG...Giorgia is here...I took photos" At this point, Donna is freaking, Chrissy is crying and I am to and I am now afraid my heart might pound through my chest. Donna says "I've got pictures, want to see?" I said no, I wanted to wait til they handed her to me. Okay so that lasted all of 30 seconds and I was like "Let me see my baby" And this is what I saw...

Here she is!!!!!

stay tuned for more...barely had time to post these. She is ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL!!!!

Today is the G-Day

It's 1:00 am and I get Giorgia in 13 hours!!! We arrived in Guangzhou today just in time to toss our luggage in the room, go to dinner with our Guide and take a taxi off the island for a Carefore-sp!! We got back to the rooms at around 10:30 or so and Christie helped me dump out ALL THE STUFF I BROUGHT and organize it. We also packed G's diaper bag for tomorrow and the gifts for the nannies. Not sure she's see sooo much stuffed into 3 bags before!! Stay tuned...

"Gotcha" ???

***update***

I just want to clarify my stand a bit more. I don't hate "gotcha" and I was fine with it during most of the wait. After all, it's just a word and it's the intent that counts. I feel you/family/friends can say anything as long as the intent is good. However, a small part of me always did feel that Gotcha was the same as snatched. It wasn't until I started reading adoptees thoughts on the word. It's their voice that is making me rethink this. I'm an adult and I find this topic easy to process. On the flip side, our children aren't coming from our point of view, they are coming from theirs...the only one they know. I'm trying really hard to understand their point of view and help them in anyway I can. :)

I've been thinking about the term Gotcha Lately. For those of you in the IA world, I'm curious to your thoughts. Personally, I'm not into the term and I'm looking for an alternative. I do admit that when I am speaking with an IA parent, I use it because it's such a quick reference but like I said, I'm looking for an alternative term.

I read an article today and here is a little piece that I wanted to share. (Get Rid of "Gotcha" by Karen Moline)

It didn't surprise me to find that adoptees have a slightly different feeling about all these gushing gotchas. Eight-year-old Becca Lampman, who was adopted from China, said, "It sounds weird to say that—call it ‘Adoption Day' instead." Her 17-year-old sister, Elena, adopted from Romania, agreed: "I wouldn't like hearing ‘Gotcha Day' used in my family. To me, it sounds like someone snatched you away from your birth family, or almost like you are a prize that was won...it has a gloating, ha-ha tone to it."

"We celebrate my Adoption Day, and I like that," she added. "Being adopted is worth celebrating, and ‘Adoption Day' is respectful sounding."

Adult adoptee Hanna Sofia Jung Johansson pointedly asked, "What is being celebrated [on Gotcha Day]? Parenthood and the new family, I guess. But do adoptive parents acknowledge their child's losses at the same time? ‘Gotcha' for parents means ‘lost-ya' for children who have been separated from familiar faces, smells, and surroundings."

As of now, I think I want to call that day "Mommy Daughter" day. Obviously this wouldn't work if there was a daddy involved. Since there is not, this is what I would like to use. I also don't see this day as a great loss of my child's biological parents, rather a loss of and orphanage, caretakers, and a country...familiarity. Let me explain. Her GREATEST loss of her biological parents happened before she entered the orphanage, not on "gotcha". Not to discount what she looses on "gotcha" but they are not as grand and her first loss. I do believe that my MD Day will be joyous day in spirit... a day where a motherless daughter finally gets a mother that will spend her days loving and taking care of her daughter and vice versa. I have hopes that every year on that very day we'll play hooky and do something fun. (at least until she get's older and starts the eye rolling) That's my hope anyway....

So, what do you think of "Gotcha Day"? Will you use this term or another? If so, what are you using?

Need Help/Got Questions!!!!

I think I know the answers to all of these but do not know for sure...never BTDT. I am looking for anyone that has first hand knowledge or educated guesses for these questions!! Pretty please!!

Were you requested to return your child’s “gotcha outfit”? If so, can you return a new set of clothing instead?

Did your childs SWI also home elderly?

Does the government pay the SWI to get the babies paper ready?

If you are a Chinese citizen, do you get free medical/ hospital visits, etc.?

If your child gets sick after gotcha, who pays for the doctor/hospital visits?

Can you submit to insurance company once home if you had to pay?

If you have to pay, what are the costs(guestimate) of visits or hospital?

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!!!