Adjusting...(long)

I've been told by many that my blog is no longer filled with words, only beautiful photos. True. I'm not good with words or very articulate, except when I am pissed. I then am incrediblely articulate. lol. I guess the real reason is where to start? The answer is somewhere between "good" and something that goes on forever. Maybe I'll attempt to make this post somewhere in between.

We are doing good! There have been way too many times, (I'm going to jinx myself) that I felt this all has been just way to easy. I went into this process thinking the worst and hoping for the best. Kind of my motto for the past three years. It's never failed me in the past and it still seems to be working for me brilliantly.

When G was placed into my arms she was neither happy or sad. I expected very sad so this was easier on my heart at the moment. It did worry me that she "could care less" and I thought that at any moment she would reject me. She didn't. We played an unspoken game in China...I give her what she wanted and she went along with our schedule. She would speak up in the form of a cry when I did something "wrong" or "not to her liking". I was eager to please so I spent the trip jumping through every hoop! Our first night she slept through the entire night and she pooped the very next morning. Okay, the two "hardest" milestones I had read about were these two and we got through it!! She wanted IN the stroller and wanted to see everywhere we were going and eventually napping every time. There was nothing in China about G that was hard. Now, new routines and responsibilites on mama were at times hard. That ever so coveted freedom was gone forever. I knew this and I was fine with it...it was just the logistics of it all and the timing. ALL NEW TERRITORY!

The hardest part of the trip was the flight home. I NEVER ANTICIPATED HER BEING AWAKE FOR ALL BUT 40 MINUTES OF A 14 HOURS FLIGHT! She wasn't screaming bloody murder or anything but not happy and EXTREMELY active! I about lost my mind and my best friend saw me on the verge of my first mom meltdown. I didn't though...but I was teatering on the edge! We all survived so I guess that's all that matters.

Once home life was falling into place. I really didn't have much in the way of jet lag and we got G out everyday. Don't get me wrong, when she slept I couldn't keep my eyes open. There were minutes of shear exhaustion but nothing that was more than I expected or even close to what I would consider jetlag. G seemed to go with the flow too.

We had only about three nights with sleep issues and I thought...okay, now we are getting into the rough stuff! I posted online and got lots of great suggestions and I made a game plan for us and that very night she slept through the night and has ever since. We get 11-12 hours of sleep everynight! (again, hope I am not jinxing myself!)

She was eating well, too well, sleeping well, too well, pooping regularily, and seemily looking for my approval and love more each day. (still thinking this is way to easy)

We then had a scare that she most likely had a major heart condition. This lasted a month. This was my DRAMA. Let's just skip to a month later and find out that her heart is perfectly healthy and there is NOTHING wrong. This was my "hard part" of IA.

Next milestone is daycare. Wow, this would be hard. Nope. She loved daycare on day one and I loved work on day one. I say this with all the love I have but I think we were overdue for a break from each other! Daycare gave her that added stimulation that she needed and the other kids to be around and my job made my mommy brain stop hurting and a gave me a renewed sense of freedom. My mornings at work are GREAT and I spend my afternoons counting down the minutes til I pick her up. Wow, if only I could be a part-time employee!!!

We still have our battles at home. Her bottle is her "SURVIVAL TOOL" and needs it to LIVE. Mama does not comfort her, her BOTTLE does. We struggle for control with this one. She wants to hold her bottle. She will give constant eye contact but she wants to hold. When I hold and she finishes her bottle, I take it away and she flips out. Like I am taking away her life force or something. Now, if at the end of the bottle I let her hold it, she finishes, she kindly hands over the empty bottle. So, we kind of battle with the BOTTLE! This has been going on since she came home in January.

Our other battle is FOOD. I MUST FEED HER WHENEVER SHE ASKS AND AS MUCH AS SHE WANTS! Oh, and DON'T make her wait. Yes, I am jumping through hoops with this one. I'm trying to build that trust right now. This is my second BATTLE.

Other then those two major battles...life is good. She's starting to say words, understand more, listen more (shocking) and smile more. She willingly takes medicine, brushes her teeth and even brings me the boogie sucker when her nose is stopped up! When I ask if her diaper needs to be changed she goes and gets a diaper and comes back and lays on the floor. It's really hysterical. She get a itty bit happier each day.

I must say that this past week we have had two major break throughs. First, while I was at a friends for dinner, I picked up her daughter to give her a hug and G started flipping out. This is the first time I caught an earful of jealousy. G then kept putting her arms up for me to pick her up instead. This was a first. Now she's clinging to me in public. Still not a velcro baby but we are working on it.

Secondly, she said her "first" word. Well, she's said words in the past but they were prompted by me and she didn't really know what she was saying. Plus they were "sort of" understandable. Friends tell me that she say mama clearly when I walk out of earshot but I've only heard her say mamamama bable or mamam when repeating after me. Okay, I'm not really being tough, I was just waiting for the perfectly pronounced, non prompted, perfectly intented word to come out of her mouth. Well, I wait no longer, I got it. The word is shocking, lol. She had her sippy cup with juice and her bottle both on her highchair. I said, "you want your sippy cup?" G shook her head no. I said, "you going to drink your bottle?" She turned her head, paused, gave me the slow uplook and slowly and firmly said "NNN-OOO! Okay then! NNNOOO it is! Heard THAT LOUD AND CLEAR. Am I shocked that her first word to me was NO, not really. Guess she doesn't know that the more she says no the more mama says no. LOL.

Okay, so as far as adjusting I think we are doing really well. I always worry if it's an "attachement" thing or normal toddler behavior when we are having a moment. I think all us IA parents do this. I read another single mamas blog where her daughter is going through some very intense issues right now in regards to attaching and bonding. I have followed this mama's blog since before her referral and I see us in their family. G is very much like her daughter at least on the surface. She is a wealth of knowledge and I am blessed that she posts her struggles and how they are both working to get through them. I hope that I am doing all that I should regarding this and I applaud all those that post the hard times! It's helping me to be a better mom!

So, that's a lot of words. You all wanted words! LOL. You didn't say anything about grammar, whew! G and I say thanks for taking the time to read our blog! Love.