I have decided to not make a celebration of our G-Day (Giorgia Day but more popularly known as Gotcha Day. After watching the documentary Adopted and reading this insightful post and another thoughtful one, I’ve confirmed my decision regarding this.
Again, this is just my decision for OUR family and I do not judge others for their choices regarding this matter. However, I expect respect and an open mind for my choices.
Let’s face it…G-day is really ME-DAY! It was the HAPPIEST day of my life. I have never and could never express how amazing that day was to me. I selfishly keep it all inside. ME-DAY will be in my heart everyday and celebrated by ME every year with blog posts and remembrances of MY journey to my daughter.
However, that was MY journey. What was HERS? HER journey was much different from mine. Once I could see past MY joy I realized that this day would signify the second greatest loss of my daughters life. The first would obviously be the day that SHE was left to be found and placed in the SWI and this second, G-day, is the day that SHE left the only life that she knew. HER Ayi’s in China, HER cribmates, HER other little friends, HER SWI, HER Southern China climate, comforting smells, HER culture and HER heritage. Granted I will do my best to give HER everything that she needs and wants but children internalize and process things so differently than adults. No one knows how their child is going to process these life changing events. I couldn’t bear it if SHE was shielding her pain on this day as I was jumping for joy and celebrating. I find this heartbreaking on many different levels.
Adoption doesn’t DEFINE my daughter but it is the way we became a family. Just as one blogger says, "I don't want my girls to grow up in a home where we didn't celebrate the miracle of adoption in some way; we just won't do it on their Gotcha Days anymore” I think this sums it up for me. Thank you to Jazzie and Tahlia's Mom and Adding a Sister for your awesome posts on this.
Honorable mention to an Anynomous poster here:
Even if a person was never given up by their birth mother and adopted by a loving family...even if you grew up in your "normal" home...sometimes God places other people in your life to be your chosen family. It's beautiful. You have to understand, even as an adult, that you never picked your parents or asked to be born. Your identity is who YOU are, not who your parents are. You SO get that, and you will pass that on…and she will be strong.
Honorable mention to an Anynomous poster here:
Even if a person was never given up by their birth mother and adopted by a loving family...even if you grew up in your "normal" home...sometimes God places other people in your life to be your chosen family. It's beautiful. You have to understand, even as an adult, that you never picked your parents or asked to be born. Your identity is who YOU are, not who your parents are. You SO get that, and you will pass that on…and she will be strong.
Thanks for reading my post.
4 comments:
Happy anniversary! Loved all of your updates!
You know, I get overwhelmed with all the celebrating. period. We haven't had an actual celebration per say on our Family Day, but I recognize it. I haven't seen the documentary and I try not to get too wrapped up in whatever way the adoption pendulum seems to be swinging at the given moment. Adding a child to our family who was adopted at birth has also thrown an interesting twist in the family day celebration. On our last family day I decided to make it a literal FAMILY celebration...not just for Eliza, but for our family unit. A couple celebrates a wedding anniversary as their beginning and I've decided to do the same with our family. November 12th 2006 was the day this family started, so we will focus on the day as that. Not a huge celebration with gifts, but we will recognize it. Eliza was very curious this year about family day. I simply described it as the day we met and the day our family began...very simple. Anyhow, sorry for the LONG comment...just some thoughts that have been swirling around in my head for a very long time!
Congrats on G-Day. G has truly blossomed, and I have enjoyed following it on your blog and our chats. It's amazing how in just one year they grow and make all the changes that they do. Remarkable! Can't wait to se an read what the next year brings.
Thanks for sharing your honest thoughts Steph. I remember Mike from AHH saying that day will be one of your happiest but it won't be your child's!! ( Although I have to say that if my bio kids could remember their Birth Day, I don't think they would have to many fond memories of it either!!!)But I look at it like Eliza2006 said..it was the day we became a family.And Scott became a Dad. But you are so right...I do celebrate it all year long with every accomplishment and memory. I did say to Sierra today..."You know Sierra you were not really happy on this day last year. You were sad and you cried because you missed your Ayi and your friends. And she replied" That's OK Mommy...I'm not crying now I am sooo happy!!!!" Thank you for reminding me to keep the entire picture in mind!!! Please give Georgia a hug for me ...Thanks!!!
Kathie
Stephe you are an amazing mom and G is an amazing little girl you are so blessed to have each other. I really love this post. It shows your deep understanding of the meaning of adoption for you and for G. You once again captured my feelings excatly. Hugs and congrats to you on your special day.
Love ya
Susan
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